2012!

So I haven't blogged in like a month, and the last time I did post something was to say I'd given up in the whole BEDD (Blog Every Day of December) thing. To be honest that was unrealistic for me and I should've thought that through before committing to it. Anywho, since 2012 has come around oh so quickly I thought I'd just write a blog and tell you (my maybe one/two readers) about my goals or somewhat ambitions for the year.

It seems to be that when January 1st comes around, everyone is talking about New Years Resolutions and what they are gonna do to make there life a whole lot better for the next year. Or the year that they are now in, I think. Yeah, so I didn't really wanna think of any resolutions as in the past I've failed to live up to these ridiculous goals of mine. Sometimes I must think I'm superwoman or something. Anyway, I guess over the last week or so I have been pondering over some 'resolution' like ambitions.

Last year, I went through I lot of stuff. And it taught me things about myself that I needed to learn. Cliche-ish but whatever. So I guess they are based off of these experiences I faced in 2011.

1) To appreciate myself more - Meaning to put myself first (sometimes) and treated myself with the respect/happiness/whateverelseshouldgohere I need. I'm learning to love me. I used to hate the way I looked. My hair. My arms. My legs. And the list goes on.. so yeah this made me really genuinely hate photos. I'd be all keen for a photo then would look at it and think 'ew I look so gross' etc etc. But yeah I think I'm learning to deal with these flaws and I actually like some of the photos that I used to hate now. Yep, so if you see me dissing myself, hit me okay. (Lol, not actually... or maybe haha)

2) Procrastinate less - The reason I say less is because I know I still will procrastinate against stuff but yeah it'll help me do it less. I hope. Pretty much last year (2011) I wasted a lot of time on Facebook or Youtube or just being a bum in my room when I should've been doing homework things or cleaning at home etc. and not that my grades were bad (I hope) but I know they could've been better. I'm talking about internal grades here. I only got like 6 excellence credits and the rest were merit so I was bummed. I hope my externals were good. *fingers crossed* Yep and so in procrastinating less I hope I can get an endorsement for NCEA Level 3 or at least get what I need to get to uni in 2013! (That's scary to think that uni is only pretty much a year from now!!)

3) Get closer to God - it's kinda scary to put this up here cos to be honest for the past few months I feel like I've been sort of disconnected from Him and it's because I've been putting up walls that shut Him out somewhat. It's like I know so much about His word that I could and have been faking it. It's making me cry. I really do miss being close to God. It's hard coming back to Him with everything but I know He loves me. It's funny because He gives me little hints and reminders of how much He cares and this is a whole other post so I'll stop but yeah pretty much He's the man.

4) To be a good role model - Year 13 is obviously gonna bring a lot of pressure with school and stuff but one of my other goals is to be a good role model to the younger girls at AGGS especially Rose since she's starting this year. I want to set a good example to others that will follow after me because I know that last year I probably didn't take my leadership roles too seriously and could've been better. I wanna be the kind of leader that other girls look up to but can also just relate to. I'm not the super intelligent dux-type student but I try hard in my subjects and aim for the best. That's all I can do. I also wanna make sure I stay humble. I realised that I probably talked about becoming a prefect too much last month and yeah that's not how I want this year to be. Yeah so I just wanna be a good leader. Hopefully it all goes well.

5) New Year, New Me - Mum is gonna help me re-do my room which is cool and exciting. And I now have a new desk which is gonna help the procrastinating thing I hope. Another thing she helped me with today was a de-clutter of my wardrobe. I threw a lot of clothes out and have nearly organised everything. Just need to buy a few more things. I wanna lose weight.lol. Yep last resolution, always the same. But I'm determined to at least get to a healthy weight and maybe a nice size figure for the ball.lol. That's my Mum's inspiration to me. And yeah I just wanna do it. Not just for the ball. Let's hope it works. (Gonna add this here cos I don't want six resolutions - to spend less on food and other random things and save more for Aussie in April!)

So yep, feel free to keep me accountable to these goals of mine. Hopefully they will go as planned if not better.

Yay for a new year. For 2012. Year 13. Everything.

Goodbye :)